Jungle Jane was published in Australia's That's Life Fast Fiction in Autumn 2005.
The water level had just reached my bra strap. It was dirty, freezing, and it was raining. Yet here I was, breast high in water because the raft we’d constructed has disintegrated. Well what do you expect when with only four planks of wood, a bit of rope and some large plastic bags?
I didn’t want to come on this survival team-building weekend in the first place. It’s bad enough trying to survive in the office all week with some of this lot, let alone the weekend too.
“Come on Jane, put your back into it,” Marcus shouted from the comfort of the riverbank.
“My back is in it,” I replied, “as are my feet, legs, waist and hands. It’s freezing in here, and the bottom of this river is a quagmire, I keep getting my feet stuck.”
Sally’s hand thrust forward from the bank.
“Here, grab this,” she said as I waded across to it. Clambering out, Sally put her coat around my shoulders to keep me warm.
“Don’t worry about Marcus, we all know he’s a prat.”
“It won’t stop him making jokes about this at work though, will it? I didn’t want to come anyway, I am only the receptionist.”
“Jane, don’t be silly. You’re an important part of the team. You’re the first point of contact our customers have with the company,” Sally reassured.
“Don’t just sit there you two, go and warm yourself up,” instructed Marcus. “Forage for some firewood, whilst we go and find some food for a slap up meal from Mother Nature. The point of this weekend exercise is to achieve what we can with the limited resources available.”
“If this is a team building exercise, how come he’s still barking the orders?” I asked.
“Never mind,” said Sally. “At least we can get a break from him.”
The trouble with hunting for firewood in the rain is that there isn’t any because it’s too wet. We found a couple of large sticks to show willing, but I hoped that the others wouldn’t find any food, so that we didn’t have to try and get the fire going.
Returning to the campsite, I dashed into our tent and found some dry clothes. Scrambling outside and feeling human again, I could see Sally was having difficulties in lighting the fire.
“It’s just far too wet, none of this will catch,” she said. “If we could find something dry enough to get it started the heat may be enough to dry out some of these sticks.”
“Leave it to me,” I said, thinking this could be an opportunity to get my own back on Marcus, as I dashed inside his tent. Everything was so neat and tidy. Regimental even. By his sleeping bag was a huge Survival Handbook with the pages marked for foraging for food. Flicking through, there was good advice on how to get a fire going with damp wood. Next to his sleeping bag were other items of interest. Opening one, I saw how I could get my revenge.
Dashing out of the tent, I threw the Survival Manual at Sally, who’d only managed to light a cigarette.
“Here you are, this might help to get the fire going, I’m going to see what else I can find.” With a rucksack on my back, I trudged off through the countryside.
It felt as though I’d walked fifteen kilometres and kept having to check my bearings. The last thing I wanted was to get lost. Twenty minutes later, I encountered the outskirts of civilisation. Slipping into a bar, I couldn’t resist a quick drink. Downing it quickly, my troubles soon dissipated into a comfortable haze, as one drink led to another.
An hour later, I panicked. The others would be back by now. Hurriedly, I paid for my purchases and started the long walk back.
It didn’t seem anywhere near as long as going the other way, and as I approached I could see that Sally had succeeded in getting a good fire going.
“Oh there you are!” greeted Sally. “When you said you were off somewhere I didn’t think you’d be all afternoon!”
“Good fire you’ve got there,” I praised.
“Waste of time though.”
“Why’s that?”
“Well the only food this lot ended up finding was a bunch of nettles. We’re all starving.”
“Nice of you to join us again,” Marcus said sarcastically. “This is a team-building exercise, yet you seem intent on doing things on your own.”
Setting my rucksack down, I opened the lid and put my hands inside.
“Well it’s a good job I got these then,” I said pulling out foil wrapped parcels. “I’ve got Pizzas, Burgers, Baguettes, and a variety of sandwiches.”
Everyone cheered except Marcus who scowled deeply at me.
“I wanted us to work together this weekend to see what we could achieve with nothing more than the resources we found just lying around us.”
“Oh don’t worry Marcus, I did exactly that. Whilst foraging for some firewood, I went into your tent and came across your wallet and a map. How else did you think I managed to navigate my way into town to buy all this food?”
Marcus dashed into his tent, and then reappeared with a worried look on his face a few moments later.
“Where’s my Survival Handbook? What have you done with that?”
At that point we all looked at Sally, sitting next to a rip-roaring fire.
I didn’t want to come on this survival team-building weekend in the first place. It’s bad enough trying to survive in the office all week with some of this lot, let alone the weekend too.
“Come on Jane, put your back into it,” Marcus shouted from the comfort of the riverbank.
“My back is in it,” I replied, “as are my feet, legs, waist and hands. It’s freezing in here, and the bottom of this river is a quagmire, I keep getting my feet stuck.”
Sally’s hand thrust forward from the bank.
“Here, grab this,” she said as I waded across to it. Clambering out, Sally put her coat around my shoulders to keep me warm.
“Don’t worry about Marcus, we all know he’s a prat.”
“It won’t stop him making jokes about this at work though, will it? I didn’t want to come anyway, I am only the receptionist.”
“Jane, don’t be silly. You’re an important part of the team. You’re the first point of contact our customers have with the company,” Sally reassured.
“Don’t just sit there you two, go and warm yourself up,” instructed Marcus. “Forage for some firewood, whilst we go and find some food for a slap up meal from Mother Nature. The point of this weekend exercise is to achieve what we can with the limited resources available.”
“If this is a team building exercise, how come he’s still barking the orders?” I asked.
“Never mind,” said Sally. “At least we can get a break from him.”
The trouble with hunting for firewood in the rain is that there isn’t any because it’s too wet. We found a couple of large sticks to show willing, but I hoped that the others wouldn’t find any food, so that we didn’t have to try and get the fire going.
Returning to the campsite, I dashed into our tent and found some dry clothes. Scrambling outside and feeling human again, I could see Sally was having difficulties in lighting the fire.
“It’s just far too wet, none of this will catch,” she said. “If we could find something dry enough to get it started the heat may be enough to dry out some of these sticks.”
“Leave it to me,” I said, thinking this could be an opportunity to get my own back on Marcus, as I dashed inside his tent. Everything was so neat and tidy. Regimental even. By his sleeping bag was a huge Survival Handbook with the pages marked for foraging for food. Flicking through, there was good advice on how to get a fire going with damp wood. Next to his sleeping bag were other items of interest. Opening one, I saw how I could get my revenge.
Dashing out of the tent, I threw the Survival Manual at Sally, who’d only managed to light a cigarette.
“Here you are, this might help to get the fire going, I’m going to see what else I can find.” With a rucksack on my back, I trudged off through the countryside.
It felt as though I’d walked fifteen kilometres and kept having to check my bearings. The last thing I wanted was to get lost. Twenty minutes later, I encountered the outskirts of civilisation. Slipping into a bar, I couldn’t resist a quick drink. Downing it quickly, my troubles soon dissipated into a comfortable haze, as one drink led to another.
An hour later, I panicked. The others would be back by now. Hurriedly, I paid for my purchases and started the long walk back.
It didn’t seem anywhere near as long as going the other way, and as I approached I could see that Sally had succeeded in getting a good fire going.
“Oh there you are!” greeted Sally. “When you said you were off somewhere I didn’t think you’d be all afternoon!”
“Good fire you’ve got there,” I praised.
“Waste of time though.”
“Why’s that?”
“Well the only food this lot ended up finding was a bunch of nettles. We’re all starving.”
“Nice of you to join us again,” Marcus said sarcastically. “This is a team-building exercise, yet you seem intent on doing things on your own.”
Setting my rucksack down, I opened the lid and put my hands inside.
“Well it’s a good job I got these then,” I said pulling out foil wrapped parcels. “I’ve got Pizzas, Burgers, Baguettes, and a variety of sandwiches.”
Everyone cheered except Marcus who scowled deeply at me.
“I wanted us to work together this weekend to see what we could achieve with nothing more than the resources we found just lying around us.”
“Oh don’t worry Marcus, I did exactly that. Whilst foraging for some firewood, I went into your tent and came across your wallet and a map. How else did you think I managed to navigate my way into town to buy all this food?”
Marcus dashed into his tent, and then reappeared with a worried look on his face a few moments later.
“Where’s my Survival Handbook? What have you done with that?”
At that point we all looked at Sally, sitting next to a rip-roaring fire.