The Bluffer’s Guide To Banking

The Bluffers Guide To Banking
The Bluffers Guide To Banking


Published by Oval Books in 2008

Priced :£4.99

ISBN: 978-1903096529

Read this, and the next time you walk into your local branch you’ll know exactly what the bank employee is thinking. You’re thinking about changing your address, the bank employee is thinking home contents insurance, loan for the new kitchen, credit card to cover moving costs and also an opportunity to give you a competitive quote on your mortgage.


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Relationship manager: 
Bank employee whose job is to ensure you maintain your relationship with his/her bank, rather than starting a new one with another bank.

 I do thee wed

A mortgage is also the start of a relationship that may last longer than most marriages.

Death duty?
 Banks are more than willing to continue serving their customers in death, particularly as this is the area of work in which they receive fewest complaints from their customers.

To the unintiated, it seems that cheques are paid in at a bank and then fall into a no man’s land where they battle to find their way back to the branch of the originating account.

Theoretically, the instruction to pay someone could be written on the back of a cow, although presenting it at a bank may prove difficult.